Saturday, October 25, 2008

Currently Reading:

J.D.: Trust me, I wouldn't want to have to make this decision.
Mr. Larkin
: I wish I could ask my wife. She'd be better at handling this than me.
J.D.
: You know, you and I are a lot alike. We may seem like the kind of guy you can just, you know, throw in a head-lock and draw a mustache on... but, in crunch time, we always come through.
Scrubs - My Philosophy

I've been trying to read more in preparation for my deployment; trying to get my mindset right in so many different perspectives: spiritually, tactically, socially, physically, etc. I had heard a lot about LTC Grossman's previous book, On Killing, and decided that I would try reading this book. I'm about 1/3 of the way through and so far I think it's a great book with a wealth of insights. I'll talk about some of my thoughts so far...

In the Army , we're trained in a plethora of skills in order to complete "The Mission", whatever you're unit's mission is. We go to schools, we do physical training, we train and become proficient in our weapon systems, we learn how to become efficient in the various equipment we use to do our jobs (whethers it's commo, computers, or parachutes). Through my seven years in the military to include a deployment, numerous mobilizations, and training exercises, I've discovered that the Army does not train/prepare it's warriors in the physiological and psychological effects of combat. Prior to 9/11, the majority of the military was not in a combat mindset. Only a few select units and divisions had been deployed and seen combat within the previous decade. But now with Operations Enduring and Iraqi Freedom, most service members realize they will be called to combat environments during their contract. I have never received training about what to expect when bullets and mortars fly over your head. I've never been told that when you enter a life and death situation in combat, it is common for warriors to experience tunnel-vision, or temporary paralysis, or slow-motion time perception, or auditory exclusion, or a laundry list of other physiological occurrences resulting from an increased heart rate and other stresses.

The authors of this book have done extensive research and interviews to determine common and not-so-common occurrences during combat. Even those occurrences that are rare are items that warriors should be aware of so as to help minimize the shock and awe if it happens.

As a leader in a fighting force, I believe we should do our part to ensure our subordinates are prepared to the utmost when they enter combat. To neglect these areas of combat, is a gross disservice to those who entrust the oversight of their well-being.

[I will add more eventually but, right now, Game 3 is on...]


Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Re-Train:

Re-Train...It's a funny word in the military. It means that an individual or unit was not up to standard or failed a performance evaluation, must be trained again, and then test again.

hmmm....I'm in AZ, beginning the first week of the Test Phase. I'm doing great so far. I probably haven't received the amount of sleep I want, but I adapt and press on.

However, after the events at the beginning of the week, I can't help but think...



Re-train: LESSON 1.




Continue in Excellence,
jdmerx

Monday, July 21, 2008

Lesson 2

Sometimes the best thing to do is just to say exactly what's in your heart.
J.D. (Zach Braff) on [Scrubs]

Here's the second installment...

Lesson 2: Sometimes the best thing to do is just to say exactly what's in your heart.

I took one of those personality type tests. It confirmed what I already knew about myself. For the most part, I stay away from conflict. I'm more of a peace-maker. I can handle it in my professional life. If I need to do speak up or ruffle feathers, I can do and will do so. My personal life, however, is a different story.

I terribly dislike confrontations where someone's feelings may get hurt. It's easier for me to be silent and not say anything. I joke around with my friends, telling them that one of my spiritual gifts is the ability to ignore people. That skill helped me a lot when I was a high school sports official.

It's pretty easy for me to deflect comments made by other people, especially if I do not consider them a close friend or acquaintance. It's harder for me, though, with persons to whom I am particular familiar or close. I will leave submerged my own feelings and thoughts at times.

I also realize that because of my childhood, I find it difficult to be close to certain people. And when I finally become close, it takes an extra effort to truly open up to that person. The good thing is that I have identified that characteristic of mine. Now, I have to try to remedy it.

I would like to say that I see myself as a solutions-oriented type of guy. So I've been trying to identify those persons and/or situations where I am hesitant to speak m heart. The one underlying feature to these circumstances and with the whole concept of speaking from the heart, is that you leave yourself exposed and vulnerable. Others are able to see what you believe. What you value. What you feel and treasure. They can see what's important to you. What your weaknesses are. Where the chinks in your armor are located.

Whether it's in an argument. A conflict. A sorrow. A rejection. A disappointment. When you speak your heart, people see you as you are. Not the you kept in check and under lock and key.

But sometimes what's in your heart doesn't edify those around you. The heart at times can hurtful and spiteful and jealous and deceitful. Jesus tells us that.

So you have to find the balance. That's easier said than done. Until next time...

Continue In Excellence,
jdmerx






Friday, July 18, 2008

Lesson 1

"Even if it kills you to be just friends, if you really care about someone you'll take the hit."
J.D. (Zach Braff) on Scrubs

I think I'm gonna forgo apologizing for the long break since my last post. Let's just move forward...

So I've been thinking about this topic for a while. It's not completely hashed out or thoroughly thought through. Anyone who knows me knows that my favorite sitcom is [Scrubs]. I have every season on DVD. I can quote almost any phrase. I can find parallel situations in life that occurred during an episode. I know. I know. Some say it's overboard. Or pathetic. I disagree with those individuals.

Now let's take a trip in the "Way Back When" machine. Remember back when you'd be in grade school and see the posters stating, "Everything I need to know in life I learned in ...."

I realized that I could work on that concept with my love of [Scrubs]. So now I will offer my first lesson...

"Everything I need to know in life, I learned in [Scrubs]"

Lesson 1: Even if it kills you to be just friends, if you really care about someone you'll take the hit.

Now in this episode of [Scrubs], J.D. decides to not tell Elliot about his desire to pursue a relationship with her since she stated that they should just be friends. J.D. holds back and realizes that the timing wasn't right. He realized that it was better to lose her as a girlfriend and keep her as a friend than to lose her as a girlfriend AND lose her as a friend.

At the time of application of this quote in my life, I was learning a lot about myself. Especially pertaining to the arena of my personal relationships. I had pursued a relationship with a certain girl. I thought there was potential and that it was going good. And then got shot down [ I was told by a friend that this phrase is not an adequate assessment. This friend also wanted to know why guys use those words and that phrase, in particular. I responded to my friend by saying that guys have to step out, be vulnerable, and it is completely up to the girl to let the "bird" fly or fall to its death.] I was struggling with the whole concept of what it meant to be "just friends" with a girl you were hoping there'd be more. [I could elaborate more on this process with illustrations, metaphors, and pithy insights. Unfortunately that is beyond the scope of this blog. Perhaps on another post. I will tease it though by stating that I have had numerous friends tell me that I could write a humor book detailing my relationship follies.]

To summarize the end result to which I came to the conclusion, I realized that I was looking at rejection in a completely incorrect manner. I saw rejection as a 'Not Being Good Enough' mindset rather than 'Looking For Different Qualities' mindset. I know that to some that seems like a DUH perspective. But to me, it was new to realize that I had that weakness. So now I had the head answer, I just had to get the heart to follow. It took a while. With prayer and the help of wise counsel ( ;-) ), I have worked on turning that particular weakness into a strength.

I realize that there are individuals in life who are meant to be romantic partners, and others that are there for platonic. Hopefully, for my next romantic venture she and I will be good friends first. And if it works out that we should not continue a non-platonic relationship, I can identify and assess that if I care about her, she's worth being "just friends." Until next time...

Continue in Excellence,
jdmerx

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

New England

I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of sunsets.
"Boston" - Augustana
Here's a quick update....
The drive up here was great. It's a completely different experience getting to see the change in landscape from one area of the country to the other. The alternative is to fly and and just land in a new region.
Observation #1:
I have a new appreciation for Texas highways, especially after driving in New York. In case you didn't know, they have a state speed limit of 55 mph. Yep, 55 mph. Plus, you pay a toll. Additionally, the roads suck. I'm told that the reason for the bad roads is because of the plows and salt during the winter and snowy months. Hmmm...that's still not an answer for the ridiculously slow speed limit and paying a toll to travel in that fashion.
Observation #2:
It has been grey and rainy and gloomy and depressing here outside Boston. I dunno how people live here. I need the sun. For the most part, he has decided to take a vacation. Probably to the south. Probably to Texas.
Observation #3:
The Great Experiement has started. Results at a later time.
Observation #4:
Class is going pretty well so far. It is day 3, however, so it is subject to change. It should start picking up starting next week.
I think that is enough observations for right now. I am planning in my future posts to do a countdown of Top 5 lessons that ave impacted me from the television series Scrubs. If you have any, feel free to leave me a comment. Otherwise, stay tuned. Until next time...
Continue in Excellence,
jdmerx

Sunday, March 16, 2008

In a Non-Hypothetical Way

SON: Ask me what's the most important thing about telling a joke.
MOM: Ok, Son. What's the most important thing...
SON: [interrupting] Timing!

It's been a great Spring Break...

I accomplished a lot of things. I read. A book. Visited with friends. Saw Aggie basketball. Drove to Brownwood to see the Lady Jackets advance to the Final Four. Drove to San Antonio to watch the Spurs lose to Boston... :-(.

A lot of those things were on my list of things to do before I deploy overseas. I accomplished one task that was pretty important to me. I'm not gonna say what it is now. Maybe later. But not now. I've learned a lot from that experience. Worst case scenario, it's a learning experience. So that's a plus if that's the worst that can happen.

Right?


Until next time,
Continue in Excellence,
jdmerx

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

American as Apple Pie

That's baseball, and it's my game. Y' know, you take your worries to the game, and you leave 'em there. You yell like crazy for your guys. It's good for your lungs, gives you a lift,
and nobody calls the cops. Pretty girls, lots of 'em.

- Humphrey Bogart

I'm not sure if there is any better sporting experience than an afternoon baseball game. I love football, but I don't think an afternoon football game can come close to an afternoon baseball game. Especially when it's an Aggie baseball game.
For those that have never experienced Aggie baseball, you should. It's quite different from any other collegiate game. I was able to see A&M play Centenary College this afternoon. The weather was great. Not too hot. Not too cold. Perfect. There was a time I used to hate baseball. Really despise it. That was before I understood it. Now I love it.
Maybe because teams play so many games that individuals games lose their importance. Maybe because it's the only sport where 30% is considered excellent play. Maybe because it's the best individual team sport. Maybe because it seems so American. It is our national pastime. It seems like the NFL and NBA get more coverage. More glitz. More glamor. The best sports movies are those about baseball. There are more analogies for life dealing with baseball than other sports. Think about it. I didn't always feel this way. But I do now
. Here are some pics I took at today's game...



Until next time....
Continue in Excellence,
jdmerx





Cold Weather

Well it is a little chillier than I had thought. So I have fashioned my hat back into my pants.
Michael Scott - The Office

I had drill this past weekend in Waco. It should be the last time that I have to drill there; which is unfortunate since I enjoy visiting with Alan and Tovah while I'm in town. I was able to get the necessary paperwork completed so I should be able to transfer to Austin. If all goes as planned then I should leave for training at the end of the month to Massachusetts. A lot could happen until then. I could NOT go to school. At that I would be severely disappointed. Things could be worse. It's all about perspective. I mean, I think the New England area is cold. I hate cold weather. And really hot weather. But that's for another post.

I don't want to get ahead of myself and tell everyone I'm leaving. And then not leave. But then I haven't really told a lot of people that I could be gone for the 10 weeks. I can see the conversations now...'Guess what? I'm leaving for training. I'll be gone for 10 weeks. And I leave tomorrow.' Yeah, that could happen.

I think I prefer it that way. At least I'm not getting ahead of myself. Until next time...

Continue in Excellence,
jdmerx



Sunday, March 2, 2008

A (very) late thought for Valentine's Day

"...Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard...."
-Coldplay "The Scientist"

So much has been running through my mind this past month. If all goes well, I should be leaving at the end of March to Massachusetts for Army training. It's not set in stone yet. So there is still room for changes. There is a great part of me that eagerly looks forward to this opportunity. However, I still have reservations. There are those relationships and friendships that I would like to strengthen and develop here in College Station. Are they strong enough that we will continue correspondence? Time will tell.

It's kinda funny when I've thought about my past over this past month through the Valentine's holiday. If the goal in my relationships, romantic or otherwise, is for the other person to be a better man/woman of God, then I have ensure that I seek Godliness, among other qualities, at all times. So my first criteria in any type of romantic relationship is that she must desire and practice to be a Godly woman.

Check.

Other than that, other variables are reviewed on a case-by-case situation. I've realized that for me, I have another criteria which is almost as limiting. She must be willing and open for periods of separation and being apart. I have found that this criteria can almost be more selective than the previous. Some people are not cut out for it and want no part of that. That's okay. There is nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately, that is a luxury outside of my grasp for where God has called me at this present time.

I will be gone for periods of time. Sometimes known. Sometimes unknown. I remember in a former relationship, my girlfriend at the time had me read Passion for Purity by Elisabeth Elliot. I don't remember much from the book. But I do remember that Elisabeth and her husband were separated for a long time. I remember thinking at the time that I was reading it, what a horrible situation. Now, older, maybe wiser. Maybe not. I see distance as an opportunity for strength and growth. And purity.

So, I'm going back to the start. Ensuring that my main focus is on God. Whatever springs forth from that is an added blessing. The timing of which I do not know. I can only handle those things within my limited control. Whether I meet a woman of God who is up for the challenge or find one who is not, I cannot and should not worry. I still must seek to glorify God in all I do where He has put me.

Until next time: Continue In Excellence.
jdmerx

p.s. Hopefully, the freuqency of my posts should increase.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

New Year. New ________(?)

2008 has already started out with a bang. I found out I am no longer going to Iraq. I am going to a better place. I have a job lined up to occupy my time until I deploy. I started taking a Krav Maga self defense and fighting course... but enough about me.

Perhaps the biggest news, and the most immediate, is that my sister is getting married on Friday. I have no idea what to make of it. She's 19. I've never met the guy. I talked to my sister. I've told her how I felt. I've resigned to the fact that we differ on how we live our lives. Our values. How we see the world. But she has to live her life. Make her choices. And even make her mistakes. I pray that she isn't making the biggest mistake of her life. I wish her the best. I'll be there for her. I'm praying for her and marriage. Is that enough? That's the most effective thing I can do.

By my next blog I'll have a brother-in-law....crazy. Until next time...

Continue in Excellence,
jdmerx